Which one is better – Love marriage or arranged? The issue is debatable all over the globe especially in eastern countries where arrange marriage is a tradition. As you read this question which option strikes in your mind first and why?
Education and media played a vital role in changing the perception of the Indian mind. Love marriage is supposed to provide freedom and more independence as compared to arranged marriages where the girl/boy is chosen by the parents. The usual question of love marriage voters against arranged one is that how can anyone marry the person whom they don’t know?
Amid popular love lore like Soni Mahiwal, India always had a long tradition of arranged marriages. With the advent of the British and the subsequent introduction of British education system more Indians got educated. Education and exposure to the media, started to make people to think and realize they need not be bound by tradition and they can choose their own marital partners without having to rely on parents, matchmakers, relatives or having to consult astrologers. This gave rise to love marriages. Currently in our country we have arranged as well as love marriages taking place.
If we start comparing love and arranged marriages we will see that both has certain pros and cons. If we talk about the love marriages first, it provides time for a mutual understanding between the partners which is needed for any successful relation. Knowing somebody before marriage allows partners to have better respect and understanding for each other’s needs and desires. This way they are better adjusted in the marriage when they finally take their wedding vows. In arrange marriages, there is a pressure to conform to parental expectations like producing a male heir, taking part in family rituals and traditions, putting up with sisters-in-laws, contributing to family expenses etc. Lovers have to try hard if their parents don’t agree with the relation. That is why it is said that Love is not an easy way out!
As the partners are happy with their spouse and its their own decision to marry him/her, love marriages should be successful but not all love marriages have happy endings. Sometimes discord arises even in love marriages. After spending a happy time of marriage, the same couple can be seen regretting on their decisions. They found hard to save the marriage and at last have to break up. If they them self chosen their partner and had a perfect tuning then why this unhappy end of the relation after marriage?
Perhaps to avoid this kind of ending, now-a-days youngsters prefer arranged marriages. It is thought that arranged marriages happen only in the east but this was not always so arranged marriages were happening even in Victorian Europe. The best part in an arranged marriage is that parents and the family is happy and they them self arrange the marriage. There is no tears and no battle for their permission. Arrange marriage offer more protection and security to the women. There is not much pressure on the women to look like models. Parents employ maturity and wise judgment when choosing suitable spouses for their children.
Caste system gave birth to arrange marriages, as the upper caste families didn’t want their children to marry outside their community and caste. In some case, by love marriage people lost all things like parents, society and religion. But after World War II and industrial revolution people’s perception started changing and they became familiar with the concept of love marriages. Slowly but steadily, love marriages are acceptable in Indian society also.
To decide which one is ideal is an unending debate. Love or arranged both is based on empathy, responsibility, commitment, love and concern. A marriage needs a lot of dedication and effort to sustain the relation.
So there is nothing like an ideal marriage it’s all about the way you perceive your marriage. The target is the happiness and stability of the relation in the marriage whether it is love or arranged.